Angestag 7th Ulriczeit 2522
I found Danielle sitting in the blanketed warmth of her bunk on her own. The others were elsewhere, possibly stretching their legs in the little town we are berthed at.
"How are you feeling today? Did you sleep well?" I came in and sat at the edge of her bed. She looked up and smiled, giving me a happy nod. She looked genuinely pleased to see me. The dark had gone from under her eyes.
"I am glad. Danielle, I wanted to apologise for all the trouble I caused us the other night. You especially. I would not have wished for all the world to put you in danger. I am sorry."
Confusion crossed her face. "Danger? Hah! Nah, no danger at all. It was ostentatious to be a lady for the evening." she said this with an upper class accent and a flourish of her hands. The illusion lasted a moment and ended with a snort. "It's not everyday you hit a hired ass on the head with a skillet and then get to act the lady. Though I don't know how you can do it." she said rolling her eyes.
Danielle’s nonchalance in the face of danger shocked me but I suppose it shouldn’t have. My nerves suddenly evaporated watching her exaggerated pantomime and I melted into laughter. I could not help but give my friend a hug. Her humour never fails to warm my heart.
"Woah! What's all this now? You’re acting funny girl. Did the dwarf give you some of his ale? Lord help you if he has!" she made a show of patting the iron implement.
I laughed and wiped at my teary eyes "No! No no no no no... I am sorry. I am just relieved. I thought you would be angry with me." I took a deep breath and composed myself for the more serious questioning.
"Danielle. You have been more like a sister to me in the past two weeks than I have had the pleasure of in such a time but what I am about to ask you I need to hear what your heart says on this matter." I looked into her eyes to make sure I had her full attention. To impress upon her the gravity of what I asked.
"Do you understand just how much 1000 crowns is worth? What it could bring you? You would be royalty among us with that in your purse. Not a care you would have in your life from here on.
That is what I am worth now, more to my father if he gets me back. But I won't go back. Not now and not ever. I would rather die than return to the life I have left behind. You must think me a spoilt unthankful girl to not be able to appreciate what was handed to me on a golden platter as a merchant's daughter... I cannot." I fell silent and looked down my hands. I had never seen them so dirty before, I hardly recognised them.
There was no reaction at first and this made my imagination think on what she might be considering. Maybe she hadn’t thought on the reward and what it could do for her? Hadn’t thought on what a prize I could be? Maybe she was considering what to tell me?
The sound of Danielle snorting and bursting into a fit of laughter caught me off guard. I looked up to see her wiping her face and gasping for breath between giggles.
"Anya! Oh sorry, Andreas! Do you really think I'm gonna support some twisted man that is forcing you to marry? By the Ladies no! And may the Gods forbid such a thing should ever occur. You marry when you want to girl, and not because it's deemed proper, or whatever they say." She shook her head and continued. "Yes, 1000 crowns is tempting but not to me. It's adventure I crave and not the fine and grand things in life. Any man such as touches you with an intention of trading you in for 1000 crowns will feel my mighty iron!" and with that she made a whooshing noise with her skillet and mimicked Grunnd's voice in a mighty "Hah hah!"
I broke down completely at such a display, sobbing in relief. I believed her words to be true. I do not think Danielle cares for guile. I now have my answer from the two people closest to me. I feel I need not watch my back so closely as an animal hunted.
I calmed and eventually sat back to wipe my face clear with my sleeve. Disgusting but it was all I had. The sheer relief of receiving such care and support from both Danielle and Grunnd left me grinning like a child. I had not cried so hard in such a long time, had not felt safe to. A heavy weight had lifted from my heart. I clasped her hands "Thank you. Truly, thank you! There are not words for me to explain how big a gift that is to me. Thank you!” I sat back a little so as not to embarrass her. I changed the subject. “So, it is adventure you crave? Your mother did you a disservice in giving you to an initiate of Morr then didn't she? How do you put up with such a self-important man? I would expect life with Stefan must be boring indeed! Though, he is harmless I suppose."
"My mother..." Danielle sighed and looked away, "only had the best intentions for me. She didn't want me to end up with nothing like sh-" she stopped suddenly and coughed. "Um, she just didn't want me to end up alone. Since I refused to find myself a husband she just thought Stefan was the best she could do on her death bed." she smiled knowingly, "Stefan, though he is flat out boring like a dry piece of toast, let's me be myself. Yes, he has the right to boss me around but you notice how he does not punish me for speaking my mind like some other master's would. So I am not living in torture. Yet at the same time I am happy to be coming along on an adventure. Death is possible, yes. But it does not scare me as much as other things would."
I felt bad from bringing up a subject that seemed to take her back to a painful time but what she said was true.
"I understand. I know how you feel. There are fates worse than death as we have seen no? Upon looking at it like that your mother did do you a great kindness as her last act. I did not mean to be rude. It is true that if any servant spoke in our home the way you do... they would be dismissed at best or 'punished' at worse. The head of our staff had a temper on her, but everyone toed the line."
With that we both decided to stretch our legs before the captain had us cast off again. I felt light like a feather.
We are back on board now. I am told we should be at Talabheim in under a week. I am unsure what to do with my time from here until then, but I feel I do not wish to mar this light mood I have with any of the dark that is passed or is yet to come. Maybe I will write here, but maybe not. We shall see.
~ Mäuschen ~
[First entry - Ranald's Luck]
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